I've given this all I can. I can't give any more. I'm not sure what I'm doing, where I'm going. I'm considering signing up for unemployment and seeing if one of the local bookstores have any positions open. If they have hearts, hopefully they'll take me in. I'm too broken now. I don't know what to do. Yeah, I know, it's "just a job", but this company, these people feel like family. And damn them, these monsters are trying to take away my family. I really do not look forward to finding another job in this economy. God forgive me, but if these morons were on fire, I wouldn't piss on them to put them out.
At least I had an RP app to write up and post, that gave me a bit of a buffer against all this. I was going to quit a game I've been hard pressed to stay with, but now I do not have the spoons to do that. I honestly feel like if I tendered that resignation, I'd have nothing left emotionally, and when I get that low, I tend to veer toward places I don't want to be. And where I wish the Bored of Dumbasses would go. I doubt they have the strength to survive that place. Which might not be a bad thing for all parties involved.
No matter. Trip to the beach tonight, though it got on the cool side and it rained a bit. Enough that we could see a rainbow over the ocean. Maybe it's a good sign, that things will get better sooner than I think. Got pizza from "the square pizza place", wanted to sit on the wall to eat it, but the wall had gotten wet. Also... a gull lurked on it, eying our pizza. And my towel I'd laid out to sit on. Took a walk on the sand, which felt wet all over, but good on my feets. Watched a flock of plovers pattering around at the tide line: cute little sand gee-gees running about or flitting over the water.
Also got a package: Ralph Sarchie's "Deliver Us From Evil", the basis for a recent movie about a New York police officer who investigates cases of demonic infestation and possession. Terrifying reading, but fascinating at the same time!